It’s Monday morning. There’s a snowstorm outside, which means daycare is closed, which means my almost-4-year-old son is home, which means I’m trying to film a short-form video for my social media while he calls “Mama! Mama! Look at my new toy!” for the 47th time.
I redo the video. Again. And again. And again.
Finally, I pack up my ring light, close my laptop, and reschedule the entire content plan for another day. Because this? This isn’t working.
If you found this post by Googling “toddler won’t let me work,” welcome. You’re not alone. You’re not doing it wrong. And no, there isn’t a magic solution that makes working from home with a toddler suddenly easy.
But I can tell you what I’ve learned after months of trying to juggle Etsy shop management, blog writing, YouTube content creation, Instacart deliveries, and raising an almost-4-year-old who thinks “Mommy’s working” means “Mommy is available to watch me build this exact same tower I built yesterday.”
This is the real, unfiltered truth about what happens when your toddler won’t let you work.
Why “Just Work During Nap Time” Is the Worst Advice Ever
Let me tell you what every non-work-from-home parent says when I mention struggling to get work done:
“Can’t you just work during nap time?”
Sure. Let me just fit 40 hours of work per week into the 1-2 hour window when my son actually naps. While also doing laundry, meal prep, cleaning, and maybe — if I’m lucky — eating lunch.
Here’s the reality: My son goes to daycare during the week (thank God), from 9am to 5pm when the weather allows and when he’s not sick. That’s my work window. That’s when I’m supposed to get everything done.
But what about the days when daycare is closed? Snow days. Sick days. Holidays. Spring break. Those random Mondays when there’s a storm and the roads aren’t safe.
Those days? I’m supposed to work during his nap.
Except his naps aren’t predictable anymore. He’s almost 4. Some days he naps for 90 minutes. Some days he “rests quietly” for 20 minutes and then announces he’s done. Some days he doesn’t nap at all and we both suffer for it at 5pm.
And even when he does nap, I’m not working. I’m doing the 47 other things I couldn’t do while he was awake — dishes, laundry, meal prep, Instacart orders if I accepted any, answering emails, planning content.
“Work during nap time” assumes nap time is sacred, predictable work time. It’s not. It’s barely enough time to keep the house from complete chaos.
The Day I Chose a Blog Deadline Over Reading Him a New Book
We got a new book from the library. One of those colorful toddler books about trucks or dinosaurs or whatever was on the shelf that day.
My son was SO excited. “Mama, let’s read this! Let’s read this!”
“I will, baby. Just give Mommy some time. I have to finish this blog post.”
I had scheduled the post to publish that day. I was behind. The draft was sitting in WordPress, half-edited, and I needed another 30 minutes to finish it.
He kept calling my attention to the book. Bringing it to me. Putting it on my keyboard. His face turning into that sad, cute look that absolutely breaks me.
“Mama, please?”
I pushed through. I finished the post. I published it. And by the time I was done, he’d lost interest in the book and moved on to something else.
I read it to him later that night, but the moment was gone. The excitement he had wasn’t there anymore.
And I felt guilty. So, so guilty.
This is the reality nobody talks about when they say “work from home with kids.” The constant choosing between work deadlines and being present. The guilt that sits in your stomach every time you say “not now, Mommy’s working.”
The hardest part about working from home with a toddler? The guilt.
What Happened When My Toddler Wouldn’t Let Me Work (A Very Specific Monday)
Let me paint you a picture of what “toddler won’t let me work” actually looks like.
It’s a Monday. Weekend snowstorm means I don’t trust the roads, so daycare drop-off isn’t happening. My son is home. I have content to create.
I set up my ring light. I position my phone. I plan to film 3-5 short-form videos for YouTube and Instagram — quick, 60-second clips about mom life or work-from-home tips or whatever’s on my content calendar.
My son is playing with his toys. Great. This should work.
I hit record.
“Mama!”
I stop. “Yes, baby?”
“See my new toy!”
“That’s great, sweetie. Mommy’s working right now. Can you show me in a few minutes?”
“But Mama, see!”
I look. I smile. I praise the toy. I restart the video.
“Mama!”
“Yes?”
“See!”
He proceeds to demonstrate the exact same thing he just showed me.
I stop recording. I watch. I engage. I try to redirect him to independent play.
I restart the video. Again.
“Mama! Mama! Mama!”
By the fourth interruption, I’m not smiling anymore. I’m frustrated. I’m overwhelmed. I’m behind on my content schedule and we’re only 10 minutes into this.
I pack up the ring light. I close the tripod. I reschedule the content for another day.
Because forcing it wasn’t working. And snapping at my almost-4-year-old because he wants his mom’s attention isn’t the kind of mom I want to be.
Some days, the work just doesn’t happen.
The Only Things That Actually Buy Me Work Time (And The Guilt That Comes With Them)
Let’s talk about what actually works when your toddler won’t let you work.
I’ve tried everything. Coloring books. Sorting games. Building blocks. Playdough. Kinetic sand. Puzzles.
You know what works? TV.
That’s it. That’s the answer nobody wants to admit but every work-from-home mom knows.
I turn on Bluey or Cocomelon or whatever he’s into that week, and I get 30-60 minutes of focused work time. Sometimes I stretch it to 2 hours if I’m really behind.
And I feel guilty about it. Every single time.
Because we’re not supposed to use screen time as a babysitter, right? We’re supposed to provide enriching, educational, screen-free activities that engage their developing brains while we simultaneously run a business, manage a household, and stay sane.
Except that’s not reality.
You know what else I’ve tried that failed?
Coloring: He wants me to color WITH him. If I’m working on my laptop, he loses interest in 5 minutes.
Writing/Drawing: Same problem. He wants me engaged, not sitting next to him while I type.
Building toys: He’ll play for 10-15 minutes, then need me to admire what he built, help him find a piece, or build something “together.”
According to Zero to Three, independent play is developmentally appropriate for toddlers and should increase as they get older. And my son CAN play independently — when he wants to.
But when I’m trying to work? Suddenly he needs me for everything.
So yes, I use TV. I use it for about 2 hours when I’m desperate to meet a deadline or finish a blog post or film content that’s already overdue.
And I’m done feeling guilty about it.
The American Academy of Pediatrics says screen time should be limited for young children, and I agree. But they’re not balancing screen time limits with work-from-home deadlines and zero childcare support.
I do what I have to do. And if that means Bluey is my coworker some days, so be it.
“Mama” Called 200 Times in One Minute: What It’s Really Like
Here’s what it sounds like when my toddler won’t let me work:
“Mama.”
“Mama!”
“Mama, see.”
“Mama, look at me.”
“Mama, I’m hungry.”
“Mama, where’s my truck?”
“Mama, can I have a snack?”
“Mama, what are you doing?”
“Mama, come here.”
“Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama.”
I counted once. He said “Mama” 200 times in what felt like 60 seconds.
And every time, I have a choice:
Option 1: Respond immediately, stop working, give him my full attention.
Result: No work gets done. Ever.
Option 2: Say “Just a minute, Mommy’s working,” and try to finish my sentence.
Result: He escalates. Louder “Mama!” Physically climbing my body. Putting toys on my keyboard.
Option 3: Ignore him and hope he gets bored.
Result: He doesn’t get bored. He gets louder. And I feel terrible.
There’s no winning option here.
He’s almost 4 years old. He SHOULD understand “Mommy’s working” by now. And intellectually, he does — he repeats it back to me when I say it.
But emotionally? Developmentally? He doesn’t CARE that I’m working. He cares that I’m not looking at him.
And honestly? I don’t blame him. He’s 3. I’m his mom. Of course he wants my attention.
But I also have bills to pay. Content to create. An Etsy shop to manage. Blog posts to publish. Instacart orders to fulfill.
So we exist in this constant tension between his very reasonable need for connection and my very real need to earn income.
The Reality of Daycare: My Only Real “Solution”
Let me be honest about something: The only reason I can work from home at all is because my son goes to daycare during the week.
9am to 5pm, Monday through Friday — when the weather allows, when he’s not sick, when there isn’t a random holiday or teacher training day.
That’s my work window. That’s when I get everything done.
Without daycare, I wouldn’t be writing this blog post. I wouldn’t have an Etsy shop. I wouldn’t be able to do Instacart deliveries or create YouTube content or manage any part of my online business.
I know not everyone can afford daycare. I know it’s a privilege. And I’m grateful for it every single day — especially the hard days when he’s clingy at drop-off and I drive away feeling guilty but also desperately relieved to have 8 hours to work.
But here’s what nobody tells you about the daycare solution:
It’s not consistent.
Snow days happen. Sick days happen (and toddlers get sick A LOT). Holidays. Spring break. Summer break. Random closures for staff training.
Those days, I’m back to square one: trying to work while my toddler won’t let me work.
And on weekends? My husband helps. He works in construction during the week — long hours, physically exhausting work. But on Saturdays and Sundays, he takes our son so I can catch up on everything I didn’t finish during the week.
Because the truth is, 40 hours of work doesn’t fit neatly into daycare hours when you also have to do laundry, groceries, meal prep, cleaning, and all the invisible labor that keeps a household running.
So I work at night. After bedtime. Like right now — it’s midnight as I write this, and I’m still working because the only time I can guarantee uninterrupted focus is when my son is asleep.
What I Wish I’d Known Before Trying to Work From Home With a Toddler
If I could go back and tell myself something before I started this work-from-home journey, here’s what I’d say:
1. You can’t do 40 hours of focused work with a toddler at home.
You just can’t. Not without childcare. I don’t care how many independent play activities you set up or how well-behaved your toddler is.
You can maybe get 10-15 hours of fragmented, interrupted work done if you’re incredibly strategic and don’t sleep much.
But 40 hours? No. Accept that now and save yourself the guilt.
2. Daycare isn’t “giving up.” It’s survival.
I felt guilty putting my son in daycare so I could “just work from home.” Like, why do I need childcare if I’m home?
Because working from home IS STILL WORKING. You’re not available to entertain a toddler all day. You have deadlines, clients, income goals.
Daycare isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity if you want to actually accomplish anything.
3. Screen time guilt is pointless.
You’re going to use TV. Accept it now. Let go of the guilt. Your toddler will be fine.
4. The work will take longer than you think.
Everything takes 3x longer when you’re working from home with a toddler even with daycare, even with help, even with the best systems in place.
That blog post you thought would take 2 hours? It’ll take 6 because you’ll be interrupted, distracted, and exhausted.
Plan accordingly.
5. You will feel guilty no matter what you choose.
Work during his awake time? Guilt for not playing with him.
Work during his sleep time? Guilt for not resting yourself.
Send him to daycare? Guilt for not being with him.
Stay home with him? Guilt for not earning income.
The guilt is constant. It’s part of the package. You can’t eliminate it, you can only learn to function despite it.
When I Cried Because My Toddler Wouldn’t Let Me Work
I need to tell you about a day that broke me.
I was trying to create a digital product for my Etsy shop. I hadn’t listed anything new in weeks, and my shop traffic was dying. I needed to get this done.
My son was home. I can’t remember why — sick day, maybe, or a random daycare closure.
I set him up with toys. I gave him snacks. I turned on a movie.
I sat down to work.
“Mama, I’m hungry.”
“You just ate, Pam Pam.”
“But I’m hungry.”
I got him another snack.
Five minutes later: “Mama, I need water.”
I got him water.
Five minutes later: “Mama, come play with me.”
“I can’t right now, sweetie. Mommy’s working.”
“But MAMA!”
This went on for an hour. Every few minutes, he needed something. Wanted something. Demanded my attention.
I wasn’t getting ANY work done. My Etsy shop was failing because I couldn’t create products. My income was dropping because I couldn’t keep up.
And I just… broke.
I closed my laptop. I put my face in my hands. And I cried.
Not quiet tears. Full sobbing.
My son got scared. “Mama? Mama, why are you crying?”
“Don’t be sad, be happy always”
Which made me feel even worse because now I was scaring my child because I couldn’t handle the pressure of trying to work from home with no support.
I pulled myself together. I wiped my face. I told him I was okay.
But I wasn’t okay. And honestly? Some days I’m still not okay.
This is hard. Working from home with a toddler who won’t let you work is HARD. And we’re not supposed to admit that because we “chose” this — we wanted to work from home, we wanted flexibility, we wanted to be with our kids.
But wanting something doesn’t make it easy. And struggling doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
What Actually Works (On My Good Days)
Okay, enough doom and gloom. Let me tell you what DOES work — on the days when it works.
My Real Work Schedule (That Kind Of Works):
6:30-7:30am: Wake up before my son, work for 1 hour (if I can drag myself out of bed)
9am-5pm: Daycare hours = WORK TIME (when he’s actually at daycare)
- BUT also: laundry, dishes, meal prep, groceries, cleaning, errands
- Actual focused work time: 4-5 hours if I’m lucky
5-8pm: Toddler time — no work, just presence (or trying to be present while thinking about everything I didn’t finish)
8pm-midnight: Work after bedtime (this is when I write blog posts, edit videos, manage Etsy, plan content)
Weekends: My husband takes our son for a few hours so I can catch up
Is this sustainable? No. Am I exhausted? Yes. Does it work? Barely. But it’s what I’ve got.
The System That Makes It Slightly More Bearable:
I read Atomic Habits by James Clear, and I built a system that makes working faster and less chaotic:
1. Batch similar tasks: All blog writing on Tuesdays/Thursdays. All Etsy product creation on Mondays. All social media content on Wednesdays.
2. Time-block everything: My calendar has specific work blocks, and I protect them fiercely.
3. Lower my expectations: I used to plan 10 things per day. Now I plan 3. If I get those 3 done, it’s a win.
4. Accept imperfection: Blog posts don’t have to be perfect. Videos can have background noise. Etsy products can launch even if they’re not 100% polished.
Done is better than perfect when you’re working from home with a toddler.
What I Tell Myself on Bad Days:
Some days, I get 2 hours of work done. Some days I get 20 minutes.
That’s the reality.
And I’ve learned to accept that my toddler won’t let me work the way I want to work — with focus, flow, uninterrupted time.
So I work in fragments. I work in stolen moments. I work at midnight when he’s asleep.
It’s not ideal. But it’s real. And it’s enough.
The Truth About Being a Nigerian Mom in Canada With No Village
I’m Nigerian. I grew up in a culture where raising kids is a communal effort. Aunties help. Grandmas help. Cousins help. Nobody raises a child alone.
But I’m in Canada now. And here, it’s just me and my husband.
No extended family. No village. No aunties stopping by to watch my son while I run errands or finish work.
Would it be easier in Nigeria? Honestly? Yes.
My mom would help. My sisters would help. My son would have cousins to play with, and I’d have built-in childcare and support.
But I’m not in Nigeria. I’m here. And I’ve adjusted. I’m the kind of person who adapts fast — I had to.
But that doesn’t mean it’s not hard.
When my toddler won’t let me work and I’m alone in the house, trying to meet deadlines with no help, I think about what it would be like to have that village.
To be able to say, “Can you watch him for an hour?” and have someone actually available.
But I don’t have that. So I make do. I figure it out. I work at midnight. I lean on daycare. I ask my husband for weekend coverage.
And I keep going.
To Every Mom Whose Toddler Won’t Let Them Work
If you’re reading this at 2pm while your toddler demands the 47th snack of the day, I see you.
If you’re reading this at midnight because it’s the only time you can work without interruption, I see you.
If you’ve cried in the bathroom because you can’t keep up with work and motherhood and everything else, I see you.
You’re not failing. The system is failing you.
We’re expected to work full-time with full-time childcare needs and zero support. We’re told to “just work during nap time” as if that’s a real solution. We’re judged for using screen time, for sending our kids to daycare, for struggling to balance it all.
But here’s the truth: This is hard because it IS hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong.
Your toddler won’t let you work because toddlers need attention, connection, and presence. That’s developmentally normal.
You need to work because bills don’t pause for toddler development. That’s financial reality.
The tension between those two things? That’s just motherhood. And it’s okay to admit it’s hard.
Some days you’ll get work done. Some days you won’t.
Some days you’ll use TV guilt-free. Some days you’ll feel terrible about it.
Some days you’ll be the present, engaged mom you want to be. Some days you’ll be the working mom who says “not now” 47 times.
All of those days are okay. All of those versions of you are enough.
You’re doing your best in an impossible situation. And your best is enough — even when it doesn’t feel like it.
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