The Daily Mix

If someone had told me before I had my son that breastfeeding would be one of the hardest things I’d ever do, I might not have believed them. The glossy parenting magazines make it look so peaceful—a serene mother gazing lovingly at her nursing baby, everything natural and effortless.

Reality? I cried through feedings. My nipples were so painful I’d brace myself every time my son opened his mouth. He struggled to latch, getting frustrated and upset, and I remember thinking in those dark early days that maybe my baby hated me. How could something “natural” hurt this much?

Seven months later, when my son decided on his own that he was done with breastfeeding and ready for solid foods (completely bypassing bottles and formula, much to my surprise), I looked back on that journey with a mix of pride and relief. The right support, information, and yes – a few key products – made all the difference between giving up at week two and making it to seven months. It got better. It did get easier. But those first weeks were brutal, and I wish someone had been honest with me about what I might face.

So let me be that person for you. Here are the 10 most common breastfeeding problems, what actually helps (and what doesn’t), and the real talk nobody gives you about each one.

1. Latching Problems: When “Natural” Doesn’t Come Naturally

The Problem

Your baby can’t seem to figure out how to latch properly, or they latch but it’s shallow and painful. They get frustrated, you get frustrated, and every feeding becomes a battle. This was my biggest struggle in the beginning, and it made me question everything.

Why It Happens

• Baby’s anatomy (tongue tie, lip tie, high palate)
• Flat or inverted nipples
• Engorgement making it hard for baby to grasp the breast
• Baby’s position isn’t quite right
• Sometimes, it just takes practice for both of you

What Actually Helps

• Get professional help early. A lactation consultant can spot issues you’d never notice. Many hospitals offer free consultations in the first week.
• Try different positions. The football hold worked better for us than the cradle hold everyone recommends.
• Hand express a little milk first if you’re engorged—it softens the breast and makes it easier for baby to latch.
• The “nipple sandwich” technique: Compress your breast into a hamburger shape to help baby get more tissue in their mouth.
• Check for tongue or lip ties. These are common and fixable but often missed.

What Doesn’t Help

• Gritting your teeth and pushing through without addressing the root cause
• Feeling like you’re failing because something “natural” is hard
• Waiting too long to get help because you’re embarrassed

2. Painful, Cracked, Bleeding Nipples

The Problem

This isn’t just “a little uncomfortable.” We’re talking cry-inducing, want-to-throw-in-the-towel, cannot-bear-another-feeding kind of pain. I would literally cry when my son latched, and I’d count down the seconds until he was done.

Why It Happens

• Poor latch (the number one culprit)
• Thrush or other infections
• Using a breast pump incorrectly
• Baby has a strong suck or tongue tie
• Dry skin or improper care

What Actually Helps

• Fix the latch first. Nothing else matters if the latch is wrong—it’ll just keep damaging your nipples.
• Nipple cream after every feeding. I relied on Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream – you don’t have to wipe it off before nursing, which was a lifesaver at 3 AM. Some moms prefer Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter if they want something plant-based. Don’t wash it off before the next feed.
• Let them air dry when possible. I know it sounds weird, but it helps.
• Breast milk as medicine. Express a little after feeding and rub it on your nipples. It has antibacterial properties.
• Nipple shields as a temporary solution while you heal, though some lactation consultants discourage long-term use. Silverette nursing cups are a premium option some moms swear by – they’re silver cups you wear between feedings that promote healing.
• Pain relief before feeding. There’s no medal for suffering. If you need ibuprofen, take it.

The Hard Truth

If it hurts beyond the first 30 seconds of a feeding, something is wrong. “It’s supposed to hurt at first” is partially true—there’s an adjustment period—but ongoing, severe pain isn’t normal and shouldn’t be ignored.

3. Engorgement: When Your Breasts Feel Like Rocks

The Problem

Your breasts become hard, swollen, hot, and incredibly painful. Your milk comes in and suddenly you look like you’ve had bad implant surgery. Your baby can’t latch because your breasts are too firm, and you feel like you might explode.

I dealt with this, and it was miserable. The pressure, the heat, the feeling that nothing would relieve it.

Why It Happens

• Normal milk production ramping up (usually days 2-5 postpartum)
• Baby not nursing frequently enough
• Skipping feedings or going too long between sessions
• Oversupply issues

What Actually Helps

• Nurse frequently before it gets severe. Every 2-3 hours, even if baby seems content.
• Warm compress before feeding to help milk flow.
• Cold compress between feedings to reduce swelling. Cabbage leaves actually work—sounds crazy, but they do.
• Reusable breast therapy packs like Lansinoh TheraPearl can be used hot or cold and mold to your breast shape better than regular ice packs.
• Hand express just enough to soften the areola so baby can latch. Don’t fully empty or you’ll signal your body to make more.
• Gentle massage while nursing to help milk flow. My husband massaged my breasts, and honestly, that was one of the things that provided real relief.
• Properly fitted, supportive nursing bra (not too tight). I lived in comfortable wireless bras like the Bravado Body Silk Seamless or Kindred Bravely Simply Sublime – they provided support without adding pressure to already painful breasts.

What Makes It Worse

• Pumping excessively, which signals your body to produce even more milk
• Ignoring it and hoping it goes away
• Wearing a bra that’s too tight

4. Low Milk Supply (Real or Perceived)

The Problem

You’re convinced you’re not making enough milk. Your baby seems hungry all the time, your breasts don’t feel full, you can barely pump anything, and everyone’s asking, “Are you sure baby is getting enough?”

Why It Happens (Or Seems To)

Here’s the truth: most women who think they have low supply actually don’t. But genuine low supply can result from:

• Insufficient glandular tissue
• Hormonal issues (thyroid, PCOS, retained placenta)
• Not nursing frequently enough
• Poor latch (baby isn’t effectively removing milk)
• Certain medications
• Previous breast surgery

Signs of Actual Low Supply

• Baby isn’t gaining weight appropriately
• Fewer than 6 wet diapers per day after the first week
• Baby seems lethargic or uninterested in feeding
• Dark, concentrated urine

Signs That AREN’T Low Supply

• Your breasts feel soft (they’re supposed to after the first few weeks)
• Baby nurses frequently (totally normal, especially growth spurts)
• You can’t pump much (pumps aren’t as efficient as babies)
• Baby is fussy (could be a million reasons)

What Actually Helps

• Nurse on demand without watching the clock
• Power pumping: Pump for 10 minutes, rest 10 minutes, repeat for an hour once a day
• Skin-to-skin contact stimulates milk production
• Stay hydrated and well-fed. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
• Lactation cookies, oatmeal, and fenugreek might help (evidence is mixed, but many women swear by them). Milkmakers Lactation Cookies or Mommy Knows Best bars were convenient options when breastfeeding moms are too tired to bake their own.
• Check with your doctor to rule out medical issues

What Doesn’t Help

• Stressing about it (stress can actually decrease supply)
• Comparing your pumping output to other moms
• Supplementing unnecessarily, which reduces demand and therefore supply

5. Oversupply and Overactive Letdown

The Problem

The opposite problem: you make too much milk. Baby chokes and sputters at the breast, milk sprays everywhere, baby gulps and gasps, and you’re constantly engorged. You leak through shirts, wake up in puddles, and baby might even refuse the breast because the flow is overwhelming.

Why It Happens

• Your body is overproducing
• Hormonal imbalances
• Pumping too much in addition to nursing

What Actually Helps

• Nurse from one breast per feeding instead of switching sides
• Hand express a bit before latching to slow the initial spray
• Reclined nursing positions so gravity works with you, not against you
• Block feeding: Nurse from the same breast for a set period (3-4 hours) before switching
• Don’t pump unless necessary as it signals more production
• Breast pads are your friend

The Surprising Downside

This is the problem everyone thinks they want, but it comes with its own challenges. Your baby might develop gas or green, frothy poops from getting too much foremilk. It’s not a “good problem to have”—it’s just a different problem.

6. Mastitis: When Breastfeeding Makes You Sick

The Problem

You develop flu-like symptoms—fever, chills, body aches—and your breast becomes red, hot, and painful. You feel like you’ve been hit by a truck. This is mastitis, a breast infection, and it’s miserable.

I dealt with this, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The combination of feeling sick and still needing to nurse through the pain is incredibly hard.

Why It Happens

• Clogged milk duct that becomes infected
• Bacteria entering through cracked nipples
• Engorgement that’s not addressed
• Skipping feedings or not fully draining the breast

What Actually Helps

• Keep nursing from the affected breast. The infection won’t harm baby, and you need to drain it.
• Antibiotics from your doctor. Don’t try to tough this out—call your doctor immediately.
• Warm compresses and massage before and during feeding.
• Rest. Actually rest. Get someone to help with baby care between feedings.
• Continue nursing frequently to prevent it from getting worse.
• Ibuprofen for pain and inflammation.

When to Call the Doctor Immediately

If you develop a fever over 101°F, if symptoms worsen after 24 hours, or if you see an abscess forming, you need medical attention now.

7. Clogged Ducts: The Painful Lumps

The Problem

You feel a hard, tender lump in your breast. It might be warm and sore, and the area might look red. Milk isn’t flowing properly from that part of your breast.

Why It Happens

• Pressure on the breast (tight bra, sleeping position)
• Incomplete emptying of the breast
• Skipping feedings
• Oversupply

What Actually Helps

• Massage, massage, massage. Work the lump toward the nipple while nursing or pumping. A Haakaa silicone pump filled with warm water and Epsom salt can help draw out the clog – attach it to the affected breast and let it work its magic.
• Nurse with baby’s chin pointing toward the clog (different positions can help drain different areas)
• Warm compress before feeding, cold after
• Dangle feeding: Get on hands and knees and let gravity help
• Epsom salt soak in a basin of warm water
• A vibrating massager (even a simple one) can help break up stubborn clogs when used before or during nursing.
• Keep the area moving—don’t let it sit stagnant

Prevention

• Avoid underwire bras while nursing
• Don’t sleep on your stomach
• Nurse from all areas of the breast
• Watch for early signs and address them immediately

8. Nursing Strikes: When Baby Suddenly Refuses

The Problem

Your baby was nursing fine, and suddenly they refuse the breast. They turn away, cry, arch their back, or just won’t latch. It’s confusing and heartbreaking, and you might think they’re trying to wean—but nursing strikes are different from weaning.

Why It Happens

• Illness (cold, ear infection, teething)
• Change in your smell (new soap, perfume, food you ate)
• Distraction (developmental leap making them more aware)
• Fast or slow milk flow
• Stress or changes in routine

What Actually Helps

• Stay calm (easier said than done). Your stress can make it worse.
• Nurse in a quiet, dark room with minimal distractions
• Try different positions
• Skin-to-skin contact without pressure to nurse
• Offer the breast when baby is sleepy or just waking
• Pump to maintain supply while working through the strike
• Rule out medical issues like thrush or ear infection

The Good News

Most nursing strikes resolve within 2-7 days. True weaning is gradual—a strike is sudden.

9. Pumping Problems: When the Machine Doesn’t Work Like Baby

The Problem

You need to pump (for work, to build a stash, to relieve engorgement), but you’re getting barely anything. Or pumping hurts. Or you’re spending hours hooked up to a machine and it’s making you miserable.

I tried a manual pump early on, and that thing was torture. It caused nothing but extra pain, and I ended up throwing it away. If I’d known then what I know now, I would have invested in a quality double electric pump like the eufy Heated Wearable Breast Pump or Medela Freestyle Pump from the start – the difference is night and day. Not all pumps are created equal, and sometimes a pump just isn’t the right fit.

Why It Happens

• Wrong flange size (most common issue)
• Pump isn’t strong enough or is old/worn out
• Not relaxed while pumping
• Not pumping frequently enough to maintain supply
• Expecting pump output to match what baby gets (it won’t)

What Actually Helps

• Get properly sized flanges. This is huge. Measure your nipples and order the right size.
• Order multiple flange sizes – Maymom or Nenesupply make affordable replacement flanges in various sizes so you can find your perfect fit without buying multiple complete pumps.
• Invest in a quality electric pump if you’re pumping regularly. Manual pumps work for some, but not everyone.
• Look at photos/videos of baby while pumping to trigger letdown
• Warm compress before pumping
• Massage while pumping to increase output
• Pump on a schedule to maintain supply
• Don’t compare ounces. Some women pump 8 oz in one session; others pump 2. Both can have great supplies.

The Truth About Pumping

Pumping output is NOT an accurate measure of your supply. Babies are much more efficient than pumps. If baby is gaining weight well, your supply is fine—regardless of what you pump.

10. Mental and Emotional Struggles

The Problem

This one doesn’t get talked about enough. Breastfeeding can be emotionally exhausting. The pressure, the guilt if you supplement or stop, the feeling of being the only one who can feed your baby, the touch exhaustion, the loss of bodily autonomy.

I felt frustrated in those early weeks. I remember thinking my baby probably hated me because nursing was such a struggle for both of us. That’s a heavy feeling when you’re already sleep-deprived and hormonal.

Why It Happens

• Societal pressure and judgment about feeding choices
• Feeling “touched out” from constant physical contact
• Breastfeeding aversion (real and more common than you think)
• Postpartum depression or anxiety
• Feeling trapped or resentful of the responsibility
• Grief if breastfeeding doesn’t work out as planned

What Actually Helps

• Permission to feel however you feel. You can love your baby and hate breastfeeding. Both can be true.
• Set boundaries. It’s okay to decide you’ll only breastfeed for a certain amount of time, or only direct nursing, or that you’ll supplement.
• Talk to someone. Whether it’s a therapist, a friend, or an online community, don’t bottle it up.
• Know that fed is best. Not “breast is best.” Fed is best. A healthy, sane mother is best.
• Supplementing or stopping doesn’t make you a failure. You’re making the best choice for your family.

The Permission You Might Need

If breastfeeding is destroying your mental health, you have full permission to stop. You don’t need a “good enough” reason. Your wellbeing matters. Your baby needs a healthy parent more than they need breastmilk.

My Honest Take: What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

I breastfed my son for seven months until he decided he was done. He never took a bottle—never wanted formula—and went straight from breast to solid food. Looking back, I’m proud I stuck with it through those painful early weeks, but I also wish someone had told me:

It’s okay to hate it sometimes. You can be committed to breastfeeding and still find it hard, frustrating, and occasionally awful. Those feelings don’t make you a bad mother.

The pain isn’t a badge of honor. I kept trying despite the pain because “my son had to eat, right?” But I should have gotten help sooner. Pushing through severe pain without addressing the cause didn’t make me stronger—it just made me suffer longer.

Not everything works for everyone. That manual pump that other moms swore by? It was torture for me. The lactation consultant’s preferred position? Didn’t work for us. Sometimes you have to experiment and figure out what works for YOUR body and YOUR baby.

It does get better, but you don’t have to wait it out if you don’t want to. For me, it got significantly easier after those first few weeks. But if someone had chosen to stop at week two, they wouldn’t have been wrong. There’s no prize for suffering.

Your partner can help in ways you don’t expect. My husband massaging my engorged breasts and clogged ducts wasn’t glamorous, but it was one of the most helpful things anyone did. Don’t be afraid to ask for unconventional help.

Your baby doesn’t hate you. When nursing is a struggle, it’s easy to take it personally. But latching problems aren’t about your relationship—they’re about mechanics, anatomy, and learning.

When to Get Help

Don’t wait until you’re in crisis. Reach out to a lactation consultant (IBCLC) if:

• Breastfeeding is consistently painful beyond the first week
• Your baby isn’t gaining weight appropriately
• You suspect tongue tie, lip tie, or other anatomical issues
• You’re developing recurrent clogged ducts or mastitis
• Your mental health is suffering
• You just need reassurance and support

Many insurance plans cover lactation consultation. La Leche League offers free support groups. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

The Bottom Line

Breastfeeding problems are common, normal, and not your fault. Whether you breastfeed for seven days, seven months, or seven years—or whether you don’t breastfeed at all—you’re doing a great job.

The goal isn’t perfect breastfeeding. The goal is a fed baby and a healthy parent. However you achieve that is the right way.

If you’re in the thick of breastfeeding struggles right now, know that you’re not alone. It’s hard. It’s really, really hard sometimes. But you’re doing better than you think, and whatever decision you make about feeding your baby is the right one for your family.

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you purchase through my links at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I’ve personally used or genuinely believe would help based on my breastfeeding experience. Your support helps keep The Daily Mix running – thank you!

What breastfeeding challenges have you faced? What helped you through them? Share in the comments—your experience might be exactly what another struggling mom needs to hear.